Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, tells you to enjoy every moment because it goes so fast and I got tired of hearing it. Like I’m seriously going to take my baby for granted! But, here we are and it’s so true. I tried to always make you feel as important as you were and many times “sacrificed” chores to spend time with you 😜. Now, I reflect and wonder if I did spend enough time with you and did I teach you everything you need to know as a young woman on her own.
This time I get to ramble and say all the words in my heart because as proud and happy for you as I am; my heart is breaking.
Your dad and I wanted a baby but had no idea we would get pregnant SO fast. You know your dad, an over achiever, sorry not sorry. Without knowing I was pregnant, your poppa and I took a Harley ride to the beach before I moved across the country with your dad. Upper 90’s and 100% humidity meant you were tough because you should not have survived that ride. Days after that ride, when your dad and I found out in AZ that I was pregnant we were over the moon. Little did we know the adventure we were about to set out on.
Morning sickness and depression from moving away from the only home I ever knew made pregnancy hard but you were my saving grace. I would talk to you all the time. The more you grew, the more I talked and the more I talked the more you moved around. It was miraculous. My love for you helped me grow up but this was just the beginning of all you would teach me.
Like everything else over the past 18 years you took your sweet time coming into this world. Man if I knew then what I know now! Not the ideal induction @38 weeks, labor and delivery. The reward far outweighed the effort because as you can hear on the audio “my baby oh MY BABY” and that’s been the last 18 years. My baby. And in another 18 years you will still be my baby.
Those first months I nursed you and danced with you and stared at you with awe. No story of infertility or miscarriage (that came later) but you were nothing less than a miracle. Your dad worked a lot, Army life, but oh how he would love on you when he got home. And you lit up for him. Maybe I was jealous but you definitely loved your daddy time. You were 6 months old and our country was devastated as we woke to the first tower going down on 9/11. I ran and woke you up to hold onto you as I watched it unfold on TV knowing our life was about to be a whirlwind. As I held you close, you didn’t fuss but let me snuggle you while I cried for those lost, the tragedy unfolding and what I knew was to come. Never forget that day my love it is part of your story. Our families story. Days of not knowing what the next few months, years or even the rest of our life would look like. You were my sanity. I had to be a mom. I wanted to be a mom. Get up, get dressed, dress you, feed you. All I remember is how incredibly perfect you were. My Angel on earth sent to help me through the hard times God had foreseen. September 11 has evolved into a day of survival and strength for you. Your story goes further than one day.
I didn’t know where I wanted to go with this letter to you but here it is. Love your story, live your story but don’t forget you are the author of your story. While you remember the past and plan for the future I want you to live in the present. Love yourself more and maintain your standard of who is allowed in your life. When you started kindergarten I knew it was the beginning of the end, you leaving me. Now, I see what an amazing beginning it truly was.
My prayer for you. Heavenly Father, I come to you with a thankful heart. Thankful for the gift of Eryn. Now, she is going off into the world on her own and I’m asking you to protect her, guide her and always let Eryn feel the love her dad and I have for her. You created Eryn for a purpose and I pray you help her find that purpose. She has had a rough time in middle school and high school and I pray that college life far exceeds her expectations. I pray her days are full of laughter and learning. Surround her with your Angels and keep her safe. Ease her fears, you know them better than I. In your most loving name I pray, Amen.
Misty Better Everyday 