life – Misty Better Everyday

life, life lessons, motherhood, New Year, self care

2019 WAS BETTER

January 4, 2020January 5, 2020 mistymerz

That was one of my favorite years, yet so many highs and lows. Looking back there are a few specifics that stand out the most.

March- Eryn turned 18 and I found the strength to put myself first.
May- 19 years of marriage and I love my husband more than ever.
June- Learned I would survive Eryn growing up.
August- Learned I would survive Tyler playing varsity football
September- left Eryn way too far from home for me
October- Kelly and Tyler both got a deer and I learned I hated being home alone
November- THE COLD FROM HELL!!
December- You can not skimp on Christmas just because your kids are older.

But, I’m done looking back. I’ve thought a lot about what I want to accomplish this year and there is so much that I don’t know where to start. There have been three authors who have put a spark in my step and all three together have me so confused.

It all started with Rachel Hollis convincing me I can do anything I set my mind to and I am worth so much more. Self love and self care are 2 parts of my life I now take very seriously. March is when Rachel helped me realize I have the strength to not only draw the line but deserved to be appreciated for my true self by everyone. Thank you Rachel!

Then I listened to Dave Ramsey and wanted to sell everything. He helped me understand that while I loved my Lexus, there is no reason. Simple. Unless I can pay cash for those luxuries, I dont need them. Also, there is a passage in the Bible regarding owing creditors. This year there will be less spending and more paying. Thank you Dave!!

This one is technically 2020 and I am “reading” her book. Marie Kondo got me to clean out from under my sink in the bathroom with one chapter. Seriously, last night I started her book on the way home from a 12 hour shift and in that 26 minute drive I was convinced all those samples, bottles and boxes were not bringing me joy. Excited or scared to finish the book, it will change my life for sure.

Now, what will I do with this, Marie said last night that if I declutter my home it will help settle all this movement in my head. This is where I want to start so badly but I am not a patient person. I want to have a plan I can act on NOW! Dave Hollis talked about journaling to figure things out. He took a mancation and just wrote what was in his heart. That’s kind of what I do here but i try not to be so scatter brained.

What I want… to be heard. I have a vision. I want to inspire and encourage women and young ladies. I want to inspire and encourage my daughter more than anything. I have a story and what makes it so amazing is it’s not amazing. It’s BORING, it’s normal. I am a regular gal that thought less of herself, that thought I couldn’t or shouldn’t. I don’t always have the right thing to say and I definitely say the wrong thing a lot. My opinions, beliefs and thoughts are important. I want the regular gal sitting in her living room watching Rachel Hollis to realize she doesn’t have to be that vibrant and outspoken to make a difference. I want her to find her spark, she deserves to find that spark.

What I am doing…starting with those closest. I have a Facebook page for a very special group of ladies. I want them to see how much they mean to me and they deserve to love themselves. They deserve to take time for themselves. By focusing on the whole person and directing their energy where they are the happiest. And it is OK if that happiness is not always others. I’ve heard my husband say so many times “lead by example”, so I workout, take care of myself and have found my happiness. I DO NOT use filters, I let people see my messy house, I let people see the real me (the one I hated and thought everyone else would if they saw her). My family is not perfect, I don’t believe anyone’s is. I am careful about putting other people’s life’s on here, March got me in trouble, but EVERYONE in my family has made mistakes. To the left, to the right and all over in the middle. It’s OK, their choices do not define me. Even my choices last year do not define me. They are my journey, stepping stones but do not dictate my tomorrow.

I am thankful God has provided me with this particular spark and he made me just as I am because no one could live my life better than me.

depression, life

Depression

September 9, 2019September 17, 2019 mistymerz

You’ve not been feeling yourself for a while. Not sure what’s going on you schedule an appointment with your doctor. You’ve been having headaches, blurry or spotted vision, tired and a weird pounding sensation in your chest. Everyone in your life is calling wanting to know what the Dr said. “It’s high blood pressure. I’ll be on blood pressure medicine,change up my diet and should be good”. Now how does this conversation with friends and family change if it turns out you have depression and/or anxiety? Why is it harder and less socially acceptable to have a mental health problem than high blood pressure?

I have depression and anxiety. It’s hard and almost everyday I have to make a decision to be stronger than this disease. But somedays I don’t get a choice. Somedays I am at the mercy of all those thoughts that tell me I’m not enough. A person can only channel her inner Rachel Hollis so many times a day, week or month. Most days a good kick in the butt works. Those other days, I know who really loves me because they are still around when “it” passes. That’s what makes mental health such an incredibly difficult disease to fight. Medication helps most of the time but there are days for no given reason I’m unable to get out of bed, I cry more, eat more and generally hate who I am.

Getting the care you need for your mental health is almost impossible for some people. I have Tricare and do you know how many counselors actually take Tricare? Not many and those that do are booked. Wonder why? Oh yeah this country has a mental health crisis. Many hospitals are not even staffed and/or equipped to handle a mental health patient. They need special attention and sometimes 1/1 care. A topic that my brief rant will not help. Moving on…

What does someone with depression, anxiety or any other mental health illness look like? Everyone and anyone. Literally. I have a pretty awesome life. A husband that loves me, 2 amazing kids, both me and my husband have good jobs, a nice house, nice vehicles and 2 dogs!! We’ve had our share of ups and downs but for the most part it’s a charmed life. None of that changes the inevitable. I will always need medication and support from those closest to me. Without my amazing family and those medications I could possibly be on the streets homeless.

My plan…I want to tell everyone I have depression and anxiety. Why? I’m tired of it being a secret, a taboo topic that should be discussed behind closed doors laying on a couch. If resources are so limited for mental health let’s help each other. Listen to your friend that’s struggling and call to check on them. They don’t have to be your responsibility but the few minutes it takes to listen or text “how’s it going” may be what gets them out of the bed tomorrow. Help them with coping mechanisms. Make suggestions with love and concern.

I would love to hear I am not alone. Comment or message me.

life

Labels

May 16, 2019May 18, 2019 mistymerz

As with most things I like to share I haven’t completely thought this topic through. In fact I don’t know if I will ever feel 100% comfortable with the idea of labels. This year is about more than being healthier but understanding the world and why people think the way they do, right from wrong, judging others for their right/wrong and so much more. My job has been the main source of these thought provoking moments. Honestly, the recent Alabama abortion law is what has triggered this thought process. Do you remember my blog where I stated I hate the word hate? Well, this states (Governor’s) decision has brought so much hate into the social media realm that it makes me sad as well as reflective on my own beliefs. I wonder how many people will stop reading or become immediately angry when I tell you I am Pro Life.

THIS IS NOT A HATE BLOG! AND I AM NOT CONDEMNING PRO CHOICE.

I woke this morning to Facebook and Instagram being full of venom on a law that actually does not affect these people. None of the individuals that shared their distaste for the Alabama law do not live in Alabama. I would highly recommend if you are so offended by the law to live elsewhere. In fact maybe stay above the mason dixon line. Just a few rankings/facts in regards to Alabama, where I was born.

Health Care 46
Education 50
Crime 45
Economy 45
University of Alabama #35 for Medical Schools and #25 for Law School
Auburn University has graduated 6 NASA astronauts, the head of the Kennedy Space Center and the nation’s first and only class of undergraduate wireless engineers
Many historical landmarks for the Civil Rights Movement reside in Alabama
Home of the best damn football program ever

So let me ask you, what do these facts mean to you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. If you do not live there and your children are not subjected to their education system or their health care system then this is not your problem. If you are so politically motivated that your bleeding heart extends that far south, try reaching out to help those in need. If you are so opposed to the abortion law then set up organizations to support the women who will be affected. Why are you venting about your body if your body resides elsewhere.

Now, I have labeled myself a pro lifer. But I do not hate or dislike my pro choice friends. Have you really thought about each of those labels and what they mean? I have no intentions of taking away anyones rights be it male, female, a member of the LGBTQ community (yes I know what it means do you?) adult, teenager, child, infant, baby or fetus. We all have the right to choose but what about those who can not choose for themselves? I believe Jesus died on the cross for my sins so that one day I can be granted into the Kingdom of Heaven. When I die I do not want to look in the eyes of my creator and explain why I supported or turned a blind eye to the murder of his babies. While we are debating this topic can you (pro choice) understand that it is about so much more than just a woman’s physical body?

You, my pro choice friend. I do not think you put zero value on life. I think you want autonomy, control of your body. It’s someone else’s beliefs being pushed onto you and for that I am truly sorry it goes down that way. But when we vote doesn’t someone always loose? Am I really so wrong for wanting the winner to be the baby?

I wish we did not need labels because the labels are rarely ever accurate to who we really are. My last blog about being a feminist pointed out the fact that I want women treated equally but I am not a feminist because I do not believe in the extremes they go to for their point. I am not a supporter of their tactics. I am a Conservative but I believe an all gender single stall restroom is necessary, if you love someone marry them, I will call you a woman if you want me to even if you have a penis. These are just the most recent topics I’ve been confronted with. I was raised in Alabama, where even if we don’t understand your ways we will love you and pray for you. That doesn’t make us ignorant just kind. There is no other state that has a song like “Sweet Home Alabama” or a magazine called Southern Living that refers to southern qualities such as politeness, kindness, helpfulness, charming and charitable. Maybe they are behind the times but are the current times where we really want to be?

My prayer for you and this blog, Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that this blog is well received with the intention it was intended. I pray that those reading this are able to see people and not labels and stop referring to someone by their label as if it were a negative. As we move forward I pray we can find common ground and answers to the questions that pit us against one another. I pray for guidance over our leaders, patience in our followers and the ability to know when to lead and when to follow. Please continue to open my eyes and see things as you do and communicate with love. Thank you for each person who has influenced my life and each one that reads this blog.